Those Little Nights When You Can't Sleep

I'm writing this partially because I was up until 3:20 am last night on duty (hey, they never said this job was easy), but also because I've had quite a lot on my mind that's preventing me from sleeping.

Just the other day, my resident faculty member runs into me just outside the dorm and says, "You look like you're a zombie!"  It didn't feel like it, but according to him, I had the tired-looking eyes and the sleepwalking shuffle.  Despite that, I played it off like it was nothing.


How I have the energy I do some days (all without drinking coffee or any form of caffeine) amazes me.

Aside from the fact that I had four incidents to report last night while I was on duty (which is what kept me up at night) and that I have a throbbing headache (no doubt due to lack of sleep), there's just a few thoughts that I can't really articulate.  Whatever they are, though, they're keeping me awake.  Anxiety?  You bet.  And it sucks.


I've always presented myself well, or I'd like to think so.  There are times when I get unnecessarily nervous (though I'd like to believe you'd never know it), and I completely lock up.  And then I can't spit out what I want to say.  Which in turn means I can't talk about what I really want to talk about.


You might be thinking, "well, jeez, it's not THAT hard..."  When you get embarrassed easily, it's tough to talk about.  Which is exactly why I'm beating around the bush and such and not really saying much about it.


It's the Internet, after all.  Anyone can see this.